..................................................William Jennings Holman and His Preposterous Locomotive
homage to W. J. Holman, All-American Crook

click above for a resplendent, keepsake-quality image

OK, we staff admit that we are somewhat hung up on William Jennings Holman, the perpetrator of The Holman Locomotive and sundry other assaults upon the bank accounts of 19th century washerwomen. Thus, we have put together a virtual alter dedicated to the man in the hopes that we might catch somebody unwary-enough to tackle our ~30,000 word homage to the fellow. You most probably still have an opportunity to gain recognition as the first person in your state to peruse its contents.

Within our tribute, of particular interest (to staff, anyway) is that lamp. It is an actual physical object that decorates Wx4's headquarters. It would be priceless were it not a fake - but what can one expect for $20 on eBay? The lamp simulates one of the few known uses for "shinplasters", privately issued 19th Century currency that had a nasty habit of becoming worthless. As the president of Fort Wayne & Southern in Indiana, Holman issued shinplasters to support a legally and physically shaky proposal to tunnel under the Ohio River. The lamp gives us an accurate indication regarding the fate of Holman's money and railroad. Also note the two badges. It escapes us why The Holman Locomotive was displayed upon them. Does anyone know what "O.B.P.A." stand for, or why the locomotive would be associated with saving the railroads? Not shown in the display is a dyslexic foamer's Holman Locomotive - The Holnam Locomotive.

Holman's influence apparently has spread far and wide, and seems to be evident even today. Jeff Moore spotted what we have subsequently dubbed The Holman Locomotive-Car (with apologies to Australia) - a true masterpiece of design, what? Whether this guy availed himself of The Locomotive's technical specs, or merely channeled Holman's ghost, we are not sure. The auto looks like it was produced somewhere behind the old Iron Curtain, where don't-throw-anything-away was part of the daily lifestyle. Perhaps Ivan here came up with this work-around following the collapse of a vital local bridge. You might want to check your own nearby bridges before you laugh. Wx4 craftsman are currently assembling a similar machine due to an anticipated near-term crumbling of our headquarters lifeline bridge over the Rio de la Maldicion del Diablo.