Wx4: Yin & Yang, Part II

On the Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang
(^{A Jeep Trilogy in Two Parts)}
Part Two: A Short Theological History of WillysNuts

Why are we so emotiontionally hung up with our Willys (Yes, I realize that this is a variation of The Willys Joke)? Well, I'd offer that for many of us Jeeping is less a hobby, and more a religious experience .

"OH BUSHWAH!" you say, but before rendering final judgement, please consider the following definition and theological history:

re·li·gious
Pronunciation: ri-'li-j&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French religieus, from Latin religiosus, from religio
Date: 13th century
1 : relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity <a religious person> <religious attitudes>
2 : of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances
3 a : scrupulously and conscientiously faithful b : FERVENT, ZEALOUS
(Hey, thanks again, Merriam-Webster!)

A Short Theological History

In the BEGINNING...there was only one kind of Jeep, the military Jeep, although it came in assorted flavors. The Willys gods were pleased...mainly because the military retrofitted the original vehicle only after many focus group meetings with the gods, lunch and drinks billed to the U.S. War Department. The Jeep was pure and divine. All was right with the world, at least as far as the Willys gods were concerned.

"Happy", one of the friendlier Willys gods.

The end of World War II came and now the divine Jeep was War Surplus. The gods were bummed...

Infidel civilians began to scarf up MB's and GPW's by the thousands at $50 a pop, according to the ads in Mechanics Illustrated, anyway. (side note: These ads still pop up from time-to-time. World War II Jeeps must be slow movers.). Worse, Willys unilaterally decided to build civilian Jeeps, hence no more free lunches! Blasphemy!

The gods were sorely pissed...and cast lightning bolts mightily and lustily at the unwashed heathen civilian horde. It did no good; the die was cast. Soon, the gods were forced to downsize from their Pentagon locale penthouse to a crowded fourth floor walkup over a delicatessen in Paramus, New Jersey. They eventually found jobs as stoplight programmers in local governments nationwide (now you know who to blame for those infernal self-activating-when-nobody's-home WALK lights!).

The gods were SOL...

The PAGAN MODIFIERS...The great thing about Jeeps in those days was that they were utilitarian vehicles. Buying one, particularly a Station Wagon, squarely placed you just ahead of the Amish in terms of style. Consequently, most Jeep owners held no compunctions about goobering up their vehicles to suit whatever task was at hand. In particular, farmers metemorphasized the Jeep from a canvas (silk? no way!) purse into a sow's ear. You name it - milking machines, post-hole diggers, hay bailers - and some farmer probably globb-welded or cross-threaded it to a Willys.

But things didn't stop there..oh no! Jeep's high standing in the redneck world (Hey Jeff Foxworthy, you out there?) resulted in some of the strangest creations of all. Say that, parked behind the house trailer, you had an old, rusty, but running (more or less) Willys pick-up and also a '48 Ford sedan that you had previously rammed into a tree as a grand finale to an extended Saturday night down at the local watering hole.

Because momma is growing testy about the frostbite cases amongst your kids, who are relegated to riding in the back of the pickup with the hounds, you conclude that a low cost family car would be advisable. So, employing the two basic items in the redneck automotive tool box, the cutting torch and the case of beer, you cobble together the redneck version of the Marmon-Herrington, as below left:

A redneck version of the Marmon-Herrington: a sure knife to any Yinnie heart.

The GROWING STORM... As time progressed, the modifiers got out of hand. All manner of strange-creations-nominally-Willys appeared in the hinterlands of America. Concurrently, Willys became Kaiser, Kaiser became AMC, and AMC became Chrysler. Thus, pristine Willys and OE parts became endangered, like the California condor and quality TV programming. Redneck America took no notice, however, and continued hacking-up Willys vehicles as if there was no tomorrow.

In fact, things were so out-of-whack that the mysterious Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang began to enter into play to restore balance to all things Willys. The Taoist concept of Yin and Yang is really pretty easy to understand. A political example: the Democrats or Republicans gain a temporary leg-up in Washington, thoroughly screw-up things, and get thrown out in favor of the other guys. This is the Cosmic Forces at work - restoring balance. The same basic deal holds true for WillysNuts.

Thus a restoration movemet, representing the forces of Yin, sprung forth from the universal ether to counter the heathen modifiers of Yang. (Please note: hence, it is appropriate to also collectively refer to WillysNuts as YingYangs.)

The ASCENSION of the YINNIES...The Restos, or Yinnies as they have come to be known, are fanatical in their preservationist tendencies: no Willys is worth its salt unless it had the original six volt electrical system (yes, these are rabid fanatics!) and original tires, oil, radiator water and brake fluid. The Yinnies personal lives tend to mirror the attention to detail that they lavish upon their Willys (no, I'm not referring to 'The Willys Joke'). These guys dress neatly in clean flannel shirts, practice meticulous personal hygiene, display excellent penmanship and embrace goodness and light. Their regard for the unwashed Yangs' tresspasses is unforgiving, and their countenance is stern, like the Willys Gods whom they worship.

And as for the Willys gods themselves (now reunited and living in a retirement condo on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale), they came to know of the Yinny Movement, and the gods were pleased and bestowed blessings upon the Yins...

The SUPER MODS...Meanwhile, over in the Yang camp, things were coming apart on the Dark Side. Formerly, the Yangers were a happy and homoginously disheveled lot - greasy tank tops, chickens living in the mobile's bathroom, that sort of thing. But now, coincidental with the ascendency of the Yinnies, came a new sort of Yang - the Super Modifier (Super Mod, or just plain Mod).

Driven by the commercial influences of such evil entities as Advance Adaptors and 4 Wheeler Magazine, the new Yangers solved their Willys problems with $$$'s ("Look mama! We can replace the 2a's broken differentail with a custom Dana 90 Dee-troit Locker setup including disk brakes and cool decals for only $43,000! The kids are gettin' kinda fat anyhows..."). Beyond that, they began to create a new affrontry to the clean living Yinnies: the rock crawler. Whoa! This despicable development even raised the drunken eyebrows of many an old-school redneck Yanger, and many defected to the Yinnie side.

And the Willys gods spake-as-thunder of the wickedness of Yangs, and cast their mighty lightning bolts upon them...

Thus, the religious schisms that are Willys Jeeping came about. The Willys gods' original (lucrative) pride and joy succumbed to the ravanges of the original, unassuming Yangs, putting the Willys universe on its ear. The Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang intervened, creating the spendthrift Mod Yang, insufferable Yinnies and re-employed Willys gods. Balance had been achieved, but in a screwed-up sort of way.

(A short apology: I lied when I stated that the above was a Short Theological History. Sorry.)

Weird Willys

Back

Back to Weird Willys Back to Page One	On the Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang (^{A Jeep Trilogy in Two Parts)} Part Two: A Short Theological History of WillysNuts
	Why are we so emotiontionally hung up with our Willys (Yes, I realize that this is a variation of The Willys Joke)? Well, I'd offer that for many of us Jeeping is less a hobby, and more a religious experience . "OH BUSHWAH!" you say, but before rendering final judgement, please consider the following definition and theological history:
	re·li·gious Pronunciation: ri-'li-j&s Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English, from Old French religieus, from Latin religiosus, from religio Date: 13th century 1 : relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity <a religious person> <religious attitudes> 2 : of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances 3 a : scrupulously and conscientiously faithful b : FERVENT, ZEALOUS (Hey, thanks again, Merriam-Webster!)

	A Short Theological History
	In the BEGINNING...there was only one kind of Jeep, the military Jeep, although it came in assorted flavors. The Willys gods were pleased...mainly because the military retrofitted the original vehicle only after many focus group meetings with the gods, lunch and drinks billed to the U.S. War Department. The Jeep was pure and divine. All was right with the world, at least as far as the Willys gods were concerned.
"Happy", one of the friendlier Willys gods.		The end of World War II came and now the divine Jeep was War Surplus. The gods were bummed... Infidel civilians began to scarf up MB's and GPW's by the thousands at $50 a pop, according to the ads in Mechanics Illustrated, anyway. (side note: These ads still pop up from time-to-time. World War II Jeeps must be slow movers.). Worse, Willys unilaterally decided to build civilian Jeeps, hence no more free lunches! Blasphemy! The gods were sorely pissed...and cast lightning bolts mightily and lustily at the unwashed heathen civilian horde. It did no good; the die was cast. Soon, the gods were forced to downsize from their Pentagon locale penthouse to a crowded fourth floor walkup over a delicatessen in Paramus, New Jersey. They eventually found jobs as stoplight programmers in local governments nationwide (now you know who to blame for those infernal self-activating-when-nobody's-home WALK lights!). The gods were SOL...
.
	The PAGAN MODIFIERS...The great thing about Jeeps in those days was that they were utilitarian vehicles. Buying one, particularly a Station Wagon, squarely placed you just ahead of the Amish in terms of style. Consequently, most Jeep owners held no compunctions about goobering up their vehicles to suit whatever task was at hand. In particular, farmers metemorphasized the Jeep from a canvas (silk? no way!) purse into a sow's ear. You name it - milking machines, post-hole diggers, hay bailers - and some farmer probably globb-welded or cross-threaded it to a Willys. But things didn't stop there..oh no! Jeep's high standing in the redneck world (Hey Jeff Foxworthy, you out there?) resulted in some of the strangest creations of all. Say that, parked behind the house trailer, you had an old, rusty, but running (more or less) Willys pick-up and also a '48 Ford sedan that you had previously rammed into a tree as a grand finale to an extended Saturday night down at the local watering hole. Because momma is growing testy about the frostbite cases amongst your kids, who are relegated to riding in the back of the pickup with the hounds, you conclude that a low cost family car would be advisable. So, employing the two basic items in the redneck automotive tool box, the cutting torch and the case of beer, you cobble together the redneck version of the Marmon-Herrington, as below left:
A redneck version of the Marmon-Herrington: a sure knife to any Yinnie heart.		The GROWING STORM... As time progressed, the modifiers got out of hand. All manner of strange-creations-nominally-Willys appeared in the hinterlands of America. Concurrently, Willys became Kaiser, Kaiser became AMC, and AMC became Chrysler. Thus, pristine Willys and OE parts became endangered, like the California condor and quality TV programming. Redneck America took no notice, however, and continued hacking-up Willys vehicles as if there was no tomorrow. In fact, things were so out-of-whack that the mysterious Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang began to enter into play to restore balance to all things Willys. The Taoist concept of Yin and Yang is really pretty easy to understand. A political example: the Democrats or Republicans gain a temporary leg-up in Washington, thoroughly screw-up things, and get thrown out in favor of the other guys. This is the Cosmic Forces at work - restoring balance. The same basic deal holds true for WillysNuts. Thus a restoration movemet, representing the forces of Yin, sprung forth from the universal ether to counter the heathen modifiers of Yang. (Please note: hence, it is appropriate to also collectively refer to WillysNuts as YingYangs.)

	The ASCENSION of the YINNIES...The Restos, or Yinnies as they have come to be known, are fanatical in their preservationist tendencies: no Willys is worth its salt unless it had the original six volt electrical system (yes, these are rabid fanatics!) and original tires, oil, radiator water and brake fluid. The Yinnies personal lives tend to mirror the attention to detail that they lavish upon their Willys (no, I'm not referring to 'The Willys Joke'). These guys dress neatly in clean flannel shirts, practice meticulous personal hygiene, display excellent penmanship and embrace goodness and light. Their regard for the unwashed Yangs' tresspasses is unforgiving, and their countenance is stern, like the Willys Gods whom they worship.
	And as for the Willys gods themselves (now reunited and living in a retirement condo on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale), they came to know of the Yinny Movement, and the gods were pleased and bestowed blessings upon the Yins... The SUPER MODS...Meanwhile, over in the Yang camp, things were coming apart on the Dark Side. Formerly, the Yangers were a happy and homoginously disheveled lot - greasy tank tops, chickens living in the mobile's bathroom, that sort of thing. But now, coincidental with the ascendency of the Yinnies, came a new sort of Yang - the Super Modifier (Super Mod, or just plain Mod). Driven by the commercial influences of such evil entities as Advance Adaptors and 4 Wheeler Magazine, the new Yangers solved their Willys problems with $$$'s ("Look mama! We can replace the 2a's broken differentail with a custom Dana 90 Dee-troit Locker setup including disk brakes and cool decals for only $43,000! The kids are gettin' kinda fat anyhows..."). Beyond that, they began to create a new affrontry to the clean living Yinnies: the rock crawler. Whoa! This despicable development even raised the drunken eyebrows of many an old-school redneck Yanger, and many defected to the Yinnie side. And the Willys gods spake-as-thunder of the wickedness of Yangs, and cast their mighty lightning bolts upon them... Thus, the religious schisms that are Willys Jeeping came about. The Willys gods' original (lucrative) pride and joy succumbed to the ravanges of the original, unassuming Yangs, putting the Willys universe on its ear. The Cosmic Forces of Yin and Yang intervened, creating the spendthrift Mod Yang, insufferable Yinnies and re-employed Willys gods. Balance had been achieved, but in a screwed-up sort of way.
	*(A short* apology: I lied when I stated that the above was a Short Theological History. Sorry.)**
	Weird Willys	Back
	.